We thought we had made some plans, but life made some plans for us. We go along with it, along with flow, keeping ourselves afloat and letting the adventure be felt in our soul.
So the long story short:
– I’m a different kind of career woman now.
I hardly ever wear a business suit; most days I have to remember to wear jeans instead of sweats — that’s dressing up.
I’m primary caregiver, which means the MIL is FINALLY a grandma and not a babysitter.
I hardly ever miss a bedtime, nap time or school drop-off.
I’ve cleaned with vinegar and baking soda in every room of the house. Multiple times.
Scott and I continue to work on our relationship and finally, it is becoming what it needed to be — there is fairness and communication and “little things” and “little moments.”
Very, very content. I feel as if the entire universe has shifted slightly and once I let go of the fear and anxiety of not having complete control over life, burdens came flying off of my shoulders.
I am sleeping better (and longer).
Things are just falling into place.
Yet, can you blame me if you know me, I’m still waiting for something to go wrong. Life can’t possibly go so well for me without a small disaster coming through town, right? We will see. I try not to worry about and I keep putting my new-found faith in the beauty of today, not the fear of tomorrow.
I have finally learned my children.
The beautiful, ornery little girl who says everything is “poy-pull”, no other colors. The one who is learning new words and forming phrases every day. The little girl who squeals when she sees or hears her brother first thing in the morning; who calls his name when he’s left for school. She’s constantly moving and she’s a bit of a clinger. I love her pizazz! I love her strength.
And then this handsome lil boy who now goes to school five days a week; who still struggles with speech but still delights us with his love for reading and blocks and trains. The one whose teacher said children like Zack teach them more lessons than they could ever possibly teach their kids. Lover of all things breakfast and giver of hugs to his little sister at bedtime. He has a big boy bed and he continues to teach me about life every day.
I’m blessed and I’m reminding myself (by counting to ten or enjoying a few moments of alone time in my reading nook) to remember that I can only control so much and that beyond that, I need to go with the flow. Be a good person, make myself happy and then I’ll be able to make others happy.
On another note, I’m turning 30 in less than a month and would really appreciate help with a list of things I need to remember/do in my 30s.