If you’ve made it past the title, congratulations, you’re a true friend, haha!
But it’s the three “B” words that best describe my past few days.
We’ll start with the least appetizing.
Both kids woke up with a little bug this morning. A morning that I had intentionally started peacefull, slowly, calmly (because I felt the other two words creeping in like a heavy fog). A morning that began with pep talks and a few extra minutes to myself. I even put on mascara. And I brushed my hair! I began to feel like a human again. I found my Pinterest board with quotes and images I’ve collected over the years that fall under the title of “Smile.” I published a photography blog post and reminisced about the couple and their wedding day. I even patted myself on the back from my improvement in photography over this past year.
And then the screaming. And that sound you hear as a mom that lets you know all bets are off and all plans are out the window. The sound that signifies loads of wash and Lysol sprayed on every crevice in the house.
How cruel and torturous that when I finally pick myself up and get myself moving in the right direction, the, er, puke hits the fan. Or at least the floor.
But let’s back up.
I’ve been busy. We’ve all been busy. We’ve moved, begun looking into schools and therapies for Zack and learned our way around a new city and series of suburbs. I’ve photographed four weddings, five engagements, three family sessions and one senior session. I’m designing albums and ordering prints and creating blog posts and all the other evil necessities to restart a business. I’m teaching numbers and colors and manners and breaking up fights and tackles.
And that’s OK.
Because I learned long ago to make sure your “work busy” never interfered too much with other busy things.
Like being busy with quick notes, surprise packages, little texts and surprise phone calls and FaceTimes. Even if I neglect a load of laundry. Or take three days instead of two to deliver a gallery.
I’m grateful for my other creative friends who let me be a part of their busy. And the family that answers my random texts about house decorating or Halloween craft ideas.
Because mommyhood can be a lonely, isolating job. One that’s busy and in-your-face and deprives you of so much ‘You’ Time and privacy that you feel foolish for ever thinking you were busy before. It forces you to be selfless and work tirelessly. To receive no concrete reward, other than the survival of a hard day and the belief that you’re doing alright.
Let’s face it, womanhood is a crazy job. There are some days I just want to scream, then bawl, then eat an entire bag of M&Ms and then drink tons of water and do an hour of Pilates.
So I really could have lost my mind when the pukey situation came to the forefront. I almost did, too, but a couple of things happened.
Firstly, Scott came home. Just for an hour and just for moral support more than anything else. But I heard the doorknob turn10 minutes after texting him my dilemma in taking care of two ill kids on two opposite ends of the house while avoiding our crippled dog that needed to pee and the dirty wash I just kept throwing into the hallway. The cat wanted fed and I hadn’t even started the Keurig machine. But then that doorknob turned and simply having him in the house for that hour told me he understood the difficulty of my job, too, and that his work was far from being more important than his family.
And not too long after that, I leaned my head on the just-completed washing machine and texted one of my new friends.
She keeps me in line and humble and reminds me that faith can be a pillar of support, too.
“Somehow the Lord has a plan, my friend,” she said. “Even if vomit is involved, LOL.”
I laughed, changed the laundry, kissed my hubby and sent him on his way. And then I put down the phone for a while, closed up the laptop, and just snuggled. Massive cuddles. I braided hair, held hands, watched more cartoons than I’ve seen in six months and just… just was.
I realized not too long ago, sitting on our couch with two little whiny kiddos in each arm, that I forgot the most important B-word:
I can face battles, clean barf and overcome the epidemic of busy.
And I can welcome the blessed feeling. The knowledge that I am lucky and fortunate and loved.
And I can make those around me feel that way, too.
Starting with the two little snugglebugs.
So, go adventure — in a car or in your home. Alone or surrounded by the most annoying people in the world you have to call family. Life is a grand adventure. Sometimes, within yourself. My journey continues.