Smells like apples in here…

… so I’ll be brief.

I created some thinly-sliced apples a bit of cinnamon sugar on top of them and it’s just about time to pull them out of the oven and hope that this delicious aroma never leaves the house.

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But I had to share a few things that I’m falling in love with this week.

Like the way he looks at everyone and everything with love. And how he hugged his TSS today when she came to the house. And how he never keeps both socks off on any given day.

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And the way she lines her crayons and her blocks up with such perfectionism and dedication. And how she is picking out ridiculous outfits every day now.

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I even love the animals who have been camping out on my lap while I finish crocheting a blanket.

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And I love the feeling of my camera in my hands.

The sounds of laughter from another room and the warmth in my heart when I stand in a doorway and they don’t know I’m there.

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I hope your house smells like apples and pets keep you warm and laughter surrounds you.

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Asbury Adventure

Have you noticed a theme these past couple of months?

The Zee Family has been having itself some adventures.

Adventure.

Just saying the word brings me peace and makes me think of ocean waves and warm embraces and laughs over wine and that warm, fuzzy feeling in your heart.

Adventure.

 

So all four of us (yay!) snuck away for a few days in the middle of a life upheaval (more on that later) to escape, forget and breathe. We stayed at the home of my mom’s cousin Steve and his beautiful-inside-and-out wife Melaney and another cousin Andy and were joined by my cousin (Steve’s daughter) Rachel and her daughter April, who is just a month older than Addie. We even had a visit from Uncle Bwick one night.

Steve and Melaney are saints. In a matter of minutes, their gorgeous historic home that they have renovated so beautifully was turned upside-down with a loud parade of marching toddlers traipsing around endless bags and toys brought out of the woodwork of two well-traveled SUVs. From that moment and through the temper tantrums and time-outs, the seemingly-endless screams of “Share!” and “No touch!” and the smelly diapers and long nap processes to the line of six adults scampering for showers after beach time, they remained patient and calm and so considerate and generous. We realize everywhere we go that our crazy family, no matter how much we try not to be crazy, can be overwhelming and we are so appreciative of the loved ones who allow a little craziness into their lives for a day or two.

The weather cooperated so nicely. We enjoyed a couple hours at the beach down the street our first day there, along with some great playground time. The kids almost immediately all started playing so well together. It reminded me so much of my childhood and the family gatherings where all of my cousins, all of us about the same age, just instantly bonded and played and later shared secrets and had great sibling-like fights. And it made me wish that our kids can have what our parents’ generation had, where cousins really were like siblings and knew and loved each other so well. It will take work, but I hope that my kids know and love their family so much, too.

There was the Great Raccoon Adventure during our stay, too, but it might still be too early to joke about that one. But really, I hope we can all giggle about this one in the near future. All part of the adventure!

Our second day was a near all-day beach day and the kids surpassed all of my expectations. They listened, they were in great spirits and we made it much longer than I thought.

I have so many Happy Heart moments from our days there.

I sat at the head of a long dinner table at a delicious Italian restaurant, my babies and husband on either side of me, looking down a long line of amazing people. Each with their own story and journey and so many happily-ever-afters taking place. I felt so loved and so lucky.

The same lovely reminiscing took place on that sand, too. Watching Scott and his son splashing in the water as each wave brought beautiful laughter from both of them. I thanked my lucky stars for the wonderful father Scott has become in our journey and hoped both kids realize how lucky they are, too.

We had buckets on heads, and manly men with baby dolls in their arms; we all snapped photos and shared delicious meals.

At night, I was too happy to sleep. I just laid there, after the babies had finally fallen asleep and I could hear Scott’s snoring; after the footsteps above quieted down; and I just smiled. I felt the presence of so many loved ones not with us anymore and figuratively patted us all on the back for forgetting all of the world’s stresses for a few days and making the effort for family.

I believe my family(ies) is/are a huge part of why and who I am today.

It was an adventure. A great, joyful, peaceful

Adventure.

 

 

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We partied like it was… 2012?

We had ourselves a lil birthday shindig the other day.

In honor of a lovely two-year-old and her and her family’s journey.

There was (eventually) sunshine, friends and family fluttering about the living room and yard. Lots of catching up, some new friends and a happy momma with a very full and happy heart.

Thank you to those who traveled hours to be a part of our celebration; thanks to those who gave our lucky little girl some new clothes and toys and books; and a thank you to those who sacrificed things they should have been doing or wanted to be doing to be a part of our girl’s day.

 

I still can’t believe she is two.

Two going on 16.

 

Addie, you are loved!

 

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Your first day

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Little Z-Man, you are starting school this week.
It’s just a lil DayCare/Pre-K program we found for you that you’ll attend three days a week for a few hours each day, but it’s a big, big deal.

This is the beginning of your education, which I promise you is one of the most important and precious things you’ll ever be given (in addition to wisdom and street smarts and love and respect and kindness and freedom and strength and so many other things).

From this moment on, you’ll spend the better part of two decades learning things that won’t make sense now but you’ll appreciate in the future (like doing math without a calculator) and things you’ll wish you would have learned (like balancing a checkbook or killing a spider in the best way for your Momma).

From this week on, you’ll make friends you think you’ll keep forever. Most of them will fade away. The ones you work hard at and the ones you fit best wish will remain for years and years and years. They’ll know your every dirty secret (like the time you peed through your Pull-Ups on the first day of school, which I’m just calling now as happening on Wednesday). They’ll probably know more about your sister than your parents will, too, so keep them close and if they get any good dirt, beat up some boys and tell your Momma.

Some of your friendships you’ll lose. But the memories of those friends — the sleepovers, the laughs, the mistakes and the note-passing — these things you will carry with you forever. I still think about some of those moments from 20 years ago when a name pops up on FaceBook now and then. They made me who I am today — their families welcomed me in to their homes and fed me dinners and took me on vacations.

So all I can hope is that you will be brave and make friends. Build block towers together and chase each other outside at recess. I can’t wait until we all make new friends and I sip coffee with a new friend’s Momma while you play together.

Listen to your teachers. Always. I had some strict teachers and some easy ones; I had some kind ones and some mean ones. But they all taught me not just school lessons but life lessons. I had a second-grade teacher who sent me to the office during a lesson on prejudice and racism and discrimination simply because I had blue eyes. I’ll never forget the fear and confusion and sadness, but to this day, I remember Mrs. N and treat everyone I meet as an equal. My fourth-grade teacher came to Grandma’s funeral and gave me a great big hug that let me know she cared. That meant a lot. My sixth-grade teacher embraced my sarcasm but taught me not to ever cross the line. (I’m still working on this one) My sophomore English teacher told me I was a good writer and introduced me to the school newspaper. I’ve been writing almost every day of my life since then in some way. My freshman year of college, a professor made me feel like I was a number, not a person and I made it my goal never to just be a number in a group again but to always stand out as a good person. I hope you always respect and listen to teachers — they are not just adults at school — they are family, they are friends, they are coaches, they are sweet lil ladies in the fruit section of the supermarket.

I don’t know what education will be like for you. For reasons I will never understand but have to embrace, you were given challenges before you were even born. If I could have, I would have waved my magic Mommy wand and made all of your struggles disappear. But we are given obstacles and challenges for a reason. We must make the most of them and learn from them and grow from them. I hope that education pushes you but doesn’t tear you down; I hope people understand your challenges but never limit your possibility and potential. I will never settle than the absolute best for you and I will never, ever let someone tell us that you can’t do something. All of the above goes for your sister, too. You are both full of potential and I am going to make sure you have the brightest, happiest futures I can offer you.

We may have to take different approaches; we may have to take a detour or re-route our path. There are probably not going to be many shortcuts, but I promise you my patience and my help in any way I can give it.

And may the Lord protect anyone who disagrees with that.

So we start on Wednesday with a new backpack. In it will be a change of clothes and some Pull-Ups since you’re a Big Boy and learning to use the potty and it’s not always perfect. There also will be a communication log one of Mommy’s friends who works in Special Education recommended we start. I began with a letter to your teachers telling them thank you and letting them know all about your family and your favorite things. We’ll get little notes back from them talking about what you’re working on and how we can help and if you’ve had a good day or a bad day. We’re developing an IEP for you (Individualized Education Program, where we outline your potential and let your teachers know that you have a disability but you are not defined by that disability). You may even still receive some of your therapies (probably speech for sure, your toughest area currently).

If you get scared or lost for a moment, remember you love music and start yourself a dance party. I’ll be dancing in spirit right there with you, fingers pointing in the air. Or pick up a book and share a story with someone. Do what makes you happy and what makes you comfortable and the rest will come to you.

I am so blessed to be able to take you to your first day of school. We will make it short and sweet and Addie and I will offer you big hugs and kisses and find you a fun activity to start your day. I’ll squeeze Addie a little tighter and kiss her as I put her in the carseat. And I will try hard not to but very likely will bawl my eyes out for a few moments. I promise they will be happy tears because I’m so proud of you and I’m so proud of this huge, awesome support system you’ve had around you to get you ready for this day.

And I will have an extra cup of coffee and go and enjoy time with your little sister and some of Mommy’s friends and their babies. And just a few hours later, I will pick you up and I bet you anything that you’ll look bigger!

We never take anything for granted in life anymore. You have taught us about the many gifts in life. And this Wednesday, with your little “Zachary” backpack over your tiny shoulders, heading inside a building to meet new friends and learn lots of new things, you will give us another gift.

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“Dearest, when you go away
My heart will go, too,
Will be with you all the day,
All the night with you.
Where you are through lonely years,
There my heart will be.
I will guide you past all fears
And bring you back to me.”
(Edna St Vincent Millay, “Song”)

Making up for lost time

You can consider this the post where I try to apologize for not sharing any thoughts or baby stories or more of this and that in a few weeks and try to make it up by posting an absurd amount of photos. If a photo is worth a thousand words, this blog post must be worth at least a million.

So let’s make up and be friends, OK? I’ve got lots of stories I want to share — just need a couple of quiet days to catch up from a hectic September.

And now, without further ado, a crazy amount of photos from our awesome, beautiful, blessed lives.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Be back soon with some words, pinkie promise!

And they make it all better…

You love me, you really love me! I go a week and a half without posting and in the past few days I’ve gotten phone calls, e-mails, texts and messages wondering if everything’s alright and that you miss my posts. Thanks, loved ones! I am sorry to have put you in Zack Photo Withdrawal, but I’m back.

 

There… feeling better already?

We’ve been working very, very hard at clasping hands and fingers and feeling everything we can get, well, our hands on.

 

 

 

Is everything alright? Yes and No.

Nothing serious has happened. No one is sick, and, just to get this out of the way, no one is pregnant. Zee Momma, Zee Daddy and Baby Z are all doing well. I’ve just had a lot on my plate and a lot on my mind and I hope to share more details soon.

 

 

In the meantime, I have been surrounded by two guys who can, in less than a minute, take that frown and turn it upside down.

 

(even if they both now shoot me looks when I take the camera out)

 

 

 

 

The bigger of the two handsome dudes has been so supportive and understanding in my recent “funk” and has reminded me for about the 1,000th time that he’s not just my significant other, but he’s my absolute best friend.

And the littlest dude is amazing. I see, first thing every morning, this huge happy smile looking up at me from behind the bars of his crib, followed by a gurgle of cute little oooohs and ahhhs and bleeeees. It’s heaven.

 

To start my day like that every day and to end it listening to the sleepy sighs or a conversation between him and his daddy over the monitor, well, it makes life’s problems seem pretty insignificant.

 

 

I have about five half-done posts that will see completion in the coming days, Girl Scout’s honor.

For now, I’ll catch you up with some photos of Zee Family and our beautiful little world.